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Name: Jason "Willabongstein"
Country: Qatar
Birthday: 12/4/1983
Gender: Male
Interests: Drinking and partaking in illegal activities such as littering and crossing the street outside a crosswalk.
Expertise: Bowling
Occupation: Government
Industry: Textiles
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  s0calpunkx
Member Since:
5/9/2004
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| Good news assholes, im not dead! Thats right im alive and kicking here in fuckville, a.k.a St. Marys College. So i figured that since i am out of my deathbed after a good fight with strep throat (thanks anonymous stranger!), i should probobly update this thing or else they kick you out or something. So here it is, the classification of drunk guys you will meet at St. Marys at various parties, sporting events, and seminar discusions! Enjoy, nutsacks!
The Dancing Fool- Yes we all know this guy, well he is pretty hard to miss. Hes the guy that starts the dancing, and is the last one too leave, and sometimes keeps dancing when there is no music on. Ususally a pretty shy guy, when alcohol enters his system, look out, hes a regular justin timberlake or whoever the fuck dances to rap music.
The Sensitive Guy- Wow, this guy is hated by most of the other guys on this list. Usually you can find this man with the crying girl who is upset that she saw a guy she liked dancing with someone else. He might sound like he really cares about your feelings, but hes really just trying to get some under the shirt over the bra action. Usually latin.
The Boisterous Guy- "I drank three handles so far and im not even drunk!", this is usually heard as soon as you enter a social gathering. Hes ususally the biggest guy there, and for some reason thinks that the girls actually care how much alcohol he can consume. You will eventually find this guy passed out in the shower hald naked. Usaully ex- jock.
The Blatant Alcoholic- This guy is drunk 3 hours before the party starts. Usually extremely loud and yelling for people to take more shots, because if other people are as drunk as he is, he doesnt look like such a loser. Makes loud plans at parties for more parties, all just an excuse for him to drink more. Usually has no friends and is overweight. Again ex-jock.
The Ladies Man- Oh hohohoh, now this guy is pretty easy to spot. Hes the guy on the dance floor, grinding his syphilitic crotch on about 5 chicks, while making out with a couple more. Can usually be seen leading girls to the drink table inbetween songs to pour them more shots. Takes advantage of any drunk girls in his vicinity, while usually sporting a popped collar and khaki shorts. Calls every guy he sees "DAWG" and "BRO", and then moves on before they can drop kick his face.
The Fight Guy- This is the guy, usually "Irish"(yeah right), who looks for any excuse to start a fight at a party. While most everyone else is there for a good time, this guy is there to prove his manliness. Usually a huge meat head, this guy shows up loaded and picks his victims early (usually the ladies man). Usually this man has a very small penis and needs to supplement his inadequacy with his fights. Usually ruins the party.
No Shirt Guy- Actually Gabe told me about this but ive witnessed it too so im going to talk about it. This is the guy who has alot of muscles. And since we cant see them through his mesh t-shirt already, he feels the need to take off his shirt, thereby showing all the women that he is indeed ripped and all the guys they had better not mess with him, because he is ripped. Usually walks very slow because he is actually flexing all the time. Usually a meat head and is prone to roiding out at all times, so when he drunkenly challenges you to armwrestle at a party, proceed with caution.
Ok fuckheads, thats it, oh and tonight is oasis, so dont anyone fall for Angel Refugio, Ernesto, or anyone else that offers you more shots (ladies, some men) If you have a problem kiss my hairy ass.
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| Ok kids this is the time of week that I do the Jason drunk update, and while most of you are thinking "whos jason" i assure you that not only is this my webpage, but also that i am drunk. So much so that I will include an error of substance, such as "jason and the giant gorilla walked down the aisle in preparation for their perfect matrimony". HAHAHAHA, you get it it makes not sense or why its happening.. its an error of substance. Well i guess you have to be an english major to get that one. Well anyways espie says that even though this entry has gotten off to a horrible start, i should take another shot and keep writing. And since my liver has never been the boss of me, well just keep reading i guess. Ok so today i did another day of week of welcome, lets just call it a waste of my life. So much so that i really expect to get today back when i die. It was that horrible. First off i get the sassiest group of freshman ever. They had some lip on them i tells ya. It was like watching the Jeffersons exept i was the stupid white boy that everyone hated, and therefore was labled an idiot and therefor didnt know what i was talking about. Anyways after learning that i have an ear infection and not cancer, i decided to take a little break from the stupid little pricks and just relax. Its then that i witnessed the worst movie ever made, Tough Guys staring Michael Douglas and Daina Carvey (snl fame), it was an absolute shitfest. I seriously allmost had a heart attack watching this crap. But then realizing i only had an hour before i had to supervise the 18 year old babies (aka freshman or your mom) i decided to have some wine, but than that even exploded in my face because i realized at the little play time that i would have to participate, and a hangover was definitly looming. After 2 hours of a black cracked out Richard Simmons testafying, it was time to call it a night, but antonio had none of that gab, he came over and then proceeded to frink two, count them, two bottles of wine and then left. Lets just say im pissed off and violently ill and drunk. SO theres your stupid update assholes. | | |
| Hey kids, welcome back to another year or so of school. Summer was better than I expected in that the Simple Life 2 aired on wednesday nights. Thats Hot! But other than just hanging around the house and drinking my parents wine (they found out when i refilled a red wine with water... who knew?!) And now after spending a week in the combined households of Mrs. Katherine Reid(sp?!) and the senator Nick Carr, i am back on campus, and as luck would have it, it seems im the only one here. Oh well, this will give me time to alphabetize my comic book collection... im just kidding i wont alphabatize them LOL!!!1111!!!11. and whats worse is that i am definitly stranded here, with no mode of transportation other that my ruggedly grotesque looks, and that only works on prostitutes and blind bears! well im rambling.. am i rambling? i think im rambling. so yeah when you are all having the best last week of your lives, remember to give some beer to your dog for jason! | | |
| Well kids, 2003/2004 at St. Mary's has sure been interesting, theres been laughs, theres been cries, theres whats and whys, puking and blacking out, lots of drugs and making out, well not really the last one but you know... you silly guys. Anyways lets take a walk back on memory lame..pun intended, on some of those memories that some (not I) will remember this summer once we get bored after the first week when weve watched all the movies in our parents houses.
Moosehead: the fall of some of the greatest in drinking(Me, Jacob, gabe, Mike, antonio) and some of the not so greats(mal, maria, angel, jeff, francesca).
Random hook ups: No names will be named but A ctually N obody G ot E nough Ladies, if you know what i mean, and im sure you all dont.
Faded Memories: Oh who could forget the time jacob was carried into a party, or the time mike jumped out the window, or when daniel lost the train challenge, and also when I blacked out for two consecutive nights, well i guess i would like to forget them.
Jan Term Olympics: I am proud to say that I won this coveted title as the true olympian that I am, being drunk 22 out of 28 nights during jan term. The resulting group therapy was well worth the now apparent alcoholism.
The phenominon of drunk crying girls: This one pretty much speaks for itself, there was never a party that did not have one of these, and it gets wierder that most of them were people we didnt even know.
Drink A Fifth Night: Wow, who would have thought that drinking an entire fifth of J.D could have such hilarious consequences such as, not being able to stand up, not being able to talk, puking, summed up in one word, gooder!
Gaelstock 2004: With a line up as great as Cake and Jorge and Milly, even with the games and rides ending up at Stanford, fun times were had by all. How can you beat waking up at 9 am and drinking than drinking during the fun, and then drinking into the night? I ask you that sir. Though me and my liver are no longer on speaking terms, and a few other people, all in all we had the time of our lives. And i think big mike had sex with Cake's trumpet player, i cant really remember.
So, as the last week of finals run down, and the prospect of getting a job in your hometown and hanging out at the highschool parties looms very close in the far distance, think back and smile, i know i will....everytime i think of Jacobs painted toenails.
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| Ok so today started off as usaul as possible. When to work, than went to class. Upon mine and pats arrival back into the room, we start to hear strange sounds coming from our suetemates room. These kids, were the sounds of sex.... not normal sex, but very LOUD sex. Now me and pat have never heard these sounds before because we have never gotten off the batters mound... exept with each other mind you. So we tried to close our door, but that proved futile in the attempt to block out the sounds of hot animal love blaring through the entryway, and now through our door. So i ordered pat to play the loudest song on the loudest distortion level...no luck. The next 20 minutes were spent in an awkward silence between me and pat as the carnal pleasures of the flesh were slapped in our faces. So the lesson is, if you are dating a screamer, you might want to, FOR GODS SAKES, not do it when your suetemates are right next door....I was trying to read the bible. | | |
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